Absence, Longing, and Joy…
February 15, 2010 8:25 pmNothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; God does not fill it, but on the contrary, God keeps it empty and so helps us keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain… The dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. The beauties of the past are borne, not as a thorn in the flesh, but as a precious gift in themselves. We must take care not to wallow in our memories or to hand ourselves over to them, just as we do not gaze all the time at a valuable present, but only at special times, and apart from these keep it simply as a hidden treasure that is ours for certain. In this way the past gives us lasting joy and strength.
~Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison
A Year with Dietrich Bonhoeffer: Daily Meditations from His Letters, Writings, and Sermons
Author: Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Lewis had at the cornerstone of his faith experience something that he referred to as “joy”. But what he called joy, was much different than what is typically conjured in my mind when I hear the word. I quickly relate joy to happiness and then I contrast and differentiate it from happiness by making an experiential distinction. Happiness is something I can categorize as moments of circumstantial favor for my particular disposition. Joy is a more willful choice I make to see the happiness I ought to have regardless of my circumstances.
I believe that Lewis’s conception of joy differs from my trained perception in that it has an inherently transcendent nature, in his own words “a longing”, and is usually described as a very spiritual experience in which the object of the longing is perhaps just out of reach in this life.
Do what they will, then, we remain conscious of a desire which no natural happiness will satisfy. But is there any reason to suppose that reality offers any satisfaction to it? “Nor does the being hungry prove that we have bread.” But I think it may be urged that this misses the point. A man’s physical hunger does not prove that man will get any bread; he may die of starvation on a raft in the Atlantic. But surely a man’s hunger does prove that he comes of a race which repairs its body by eating and inhabits a world where eatable substances exist.
In the same way, though I do not believe (I wish I did) that my desire for Paradise proves that I shall enjoy it, I think it a pretty good indication that such a thing exists and that some men will. A man may love a woman and not win her; but it would be very odd if the phenomenon called “falling in love” occurred in a sexless world.
Here, then is the desire, still wandering and uncertain of its object and still largely unable to see that object in the direction where it really lies.
If Christianity could tell me no more of the far-off land than my own temperament led me to surmise already, then Christianity would be no higher than myself.
~C.S. Lewis
On some level I have come to accept and look for this phenomenon in most every aspect of life. At first it seems like a cruel joke, a cosmic teasing of sorts. But vain attempts to try to satisfy or saturate the desire always leaves such a profound lack of satisfaction that the “joy” of longing for something better does start to emerge.
Our current technologies are often focused on solving perceived problems of want or desire. If you want to make a mint in the tech world, then find a stock consumer driven complaint; solve it efficiently with a web page, device, or pill and then sit back and collect as the consumers attempt to satisfy whatever is missing by clicking and swallowing after the ever regressing dopamine feedback loop.
But, perhaps “the problem” technologists are trying to fix is the very intimation of joy (longing) that is the best hint this world has to offer towards better fulfillments yet to come. Well at least, this is I believe where Lewis would reside in his analysis of modern tech trends… of which he may lump them all together with his fictional mud pies anecdote.
We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
~C.S. Lewis; The Weight of Glory
The Weight of Glory
Author: C. S. Lewis
And this is where I see a universal connection to people who would scoff religion, Christianity, the Bible, and perhaps even the vague land of “spirituality” on one page… and then on the very next page assert this very same profound observation of the good nature of longing that is deeply rooted in what it means to be a human. To remove the longing by employing a gadget is a spiritual trespass.
If some infantile trauma or anxiety can be made obsolete by technology, then what will happen as soon as possible (perhaps even sooner!).
Children want attention. Therefore, young adults, in their newly extended childhood, can now perceive themselves to be finally getting enough attention, through social networks and blogs. Lately, the design of on-line technology has moved from answering this desire for attention to addressing an even earlier developmental stage.
Separation anxiety is assuaged by constant connection. Young people announce every detail of their lives on services like Twitter not to show off, but to avoid the close door at bedtime, the empty room, the screaming vacuum of an isolated mind.
~Jaron Lanier, You are not a Gadget
You Are Not a Gadget: A Manifesto
Author: Jaron Lanier
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