I tried to communicate
I tried to relate
Now all I want to do is escape and vanish into fantasies
I ventured out of the galaxy into the outer regions
Where folks believe in something much much bigger than their demons
And aren’t controlled by their circumstances
Sounds romantic well dance with it slowly
In here my failures don’t control me
It’s a place of solitude but I’m not lonely
And it’s beautiful but lets be reasonable
It’s just not real it just plays with your imagination
And for a moment or two can make time stand still
But when it’s over all you have is a memory
I had to leave cuz the real world was calling me
I left my youth in pursuit of the truth and gained a world of dishonesty

I see your innocence and envy it
I reminisce of mine and remember it
Full of peace full of hope full of truth
I remember when I used to be you before you became me
I see your innocence and envy it
I reminisce of mine and remember it
Full of peace full of hope full of truth
I remember when I used to be you before you became me

Man it’s sort of overwhelming
It didn’t seem like I was storytelling
But you didn’t believe me when I told you that I could see my
Hopes and dreams come alive as it seems
But there’s a time and place for everything
Well I left my imagination there
Now it’s only what I can touch see taste and hear
With my natural senses I wish I could stretch the limits
But my defenses keep me limited from the boundaries I set
So I won’t get burned again
Sure I’d like to be optimistic but that doesn’t line up well with reality
So I’ll go to sleep now and dream of a younger healthier better me

Don’t mistake innocence for ignorance
Don’t mistake purity for inexperience
Don’t mistake humility for weakness
I sincerely mean this
You understand more than you know
There’s no goal like peace of mind
So what else are you trying to find
What’s left except regret and heartache
And yes your heart will break and go numb lots of times before this life is done
You’ll look for answers but there’s just one
Patience one day it will make sense
But waiting is a pinch waking you up from the worlds you’ve made up
The one where you dream and the one where you gave up
Time to create a new atmosphere where the boy and the cynic can both play fair

~J Reu, The Boy Vs. The Cynic

• 
  Boy Vs the Cynic
  Artist: John Reuben

Ha, I could not have said it better myself, thanks John.

Categories: Cynicism, Innocence, Adulthood, Music
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Heaven, are you really
Waiting outside the door?
Never though I’d hear
The words before the road

Sever, it’s the simple things
That are so hard to grasp
Can’t find myself in all
The days that passed

But I can feel it when it shines
Never mind I’m falling in love with you
Can’t find the road that runs though
Falling love with you

Heaven, are you really
Waiting outside the door
Never thought I’d hear
The words before the road

Sever, it’s the simple things
That are so hard to grasp
Can’t find myself in all
These days that pass

But I can find feel it when it shines
Never mind the way they shy
Turning around along the trail
My whole world is falling in love with you

Can’t find the road that runs through
Falling in love with you
Can’t find the road that gets through

~Heaven, The Fire Theft

• 
  Fire Theft
  Artist: Fireft

Is heaven a place you find or a reality you desire?

Do all who earnestly seek arrive?

1″Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me. 2In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going.”

5Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

6Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know[b] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

8Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

9Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. 12I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

~John 14:1-14

Categories: Kingdom of God, Heaven, Bible Study, Music
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Let it be your will that my words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart come before you, God my Rock my Redeemer

I will crush my fantasy,
bring me olive oil crushed for his majesty
to shine a warmth into eternity, this is an eternal decree,
We’ll dance like flames for there’s no gravity,
for now I’m just a candle trying to stay lit in this windy night.

Got to crush my fantasies of how this life is supposed to be

Bring my broken heart to an invisible king with a hope one day you might answer me, so I pray don’t you abandon me.

Your silence kills me;
I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Is it wrong to think you might speak to me?
You might speak, would it be words and what would you say?

It’s so heavy a heavy price to pay

Your silence.

~Matisyahu; Light, Silence

• 
  Light
  Artist: Matisyahu

Categories: Repentance, Music
1 Comment »

Well, your CD collection looks shiny and costly.
How much did you pay for your bad Moto Guzi?
And how much did you spend on your black leather jacket?
Is it you or your parents in this income tax bracket?

Now tickets to concerts and drinking at clubs,
Sometimes for music that you haven’t even heard of.
And how much did you pay for your rock’n'roll t-shirt
That proves you were there,
That you heard of them first?

How do you afford your rock’n'roll lifestyle?
How do you afford your rock’n'roll lifestyle?
How do you afford your rock’n'roll lifestyle?
Ah, tell me.

How much did you pay for the chunk of his guitar,
The one he ruthlessly smashed at the end of the show?
And how much will he pay for a brand new guitar,
One which he’ll ruthlessly smash at the end of another show?
And how long will the workers keep building him new ones?
As long as their soda cans are red, white, and blue ones.
And how long will the workers keep building him new ones?
As long as their soda cans are red, white, and blue ones.

Aging black leather and hospital bills,
Tattoo removal and dozens of pills.
Your liver pays dearly now for youthful magic moments,
But rock on completely with some brand new components.

How do you afford your rock’n'roll lifestyle?
How do you afford your rock’n'roll lifestyle?
How do you afford your rock’n'roll lifestyle?

Excess ain’t rebellion.
You’re drinking what they’re selling.
Your self-destruction doesn’t hurt them.
Your chaos won’t convert them.
They’re so happy to rebuild it.
You’ll never really kill it.
Yeah, excess ain’t rebellion.
You’re drinking what they’re selling.
Excess ain’t rebellion.
You’re drinking,
You’re drinking,
You’re drinking what they’re selling.

~Cake, Rock ‘n’ Roll Lifestyle

• 
  Motorcade of Generosity
  Artist: Cake

Categories: Rebellion, Listening, Music
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What is more (and I can hardly find words to tell you how important I think this), it is just the people who are ready to submit to the loss of the thrill and settle down to the sober interest, who are then most likely to meet new thrills in some quite different direction. The man who has learned to fly and become a good pilot will suddenly discover music; the man who has settled down to live in the beauty spot will discover gardening.

This is, I think, one little part of what Christ meant by saying that a thing will not really live unless it first dies. It is simply no good trying to keep any thrill: that is the very worst thing you can do. Let the thrill go–let it die away–go on through that period of death into the quieter interest and happiness that follow–and you will find you are living in a world of new thrills all the time. But if you decide to make thrills your regular diet and try to prolong them artificially, they will all get weaker and weaker, and fewer and fewer, and you will be a bored, disillusioned old man for the rest of your life. It is because so few people understand this that you find many middle-aged men and women maundering about their lost youth, at the very age when new horizons ought to be appearing and new doors opening all round them. It is much better fun to learn to swim than to go on endlessly (and hopelessly) trying to get back the feeling you had when you first went paddling as a small boy.

~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

• 
  Mere Christianity
  Author: C. S. Lewis

In other words, growing up is fun… learn to like it and you will enjoy life.

There are a few authors I have spent enough time with such that their words begin to form a regular voice of friendship in my life, Lewis is certainly one. As I read and reread his works, it’s as if there is continually a fresh and vital conversation taking place in my life.

Then there are just a handful of musicians who have accompanied me through my adult life in voice and beats to help describe my thoughts, feelings, and moments… John Reuben is just such a musical friend.

In some strange way I feel like the past decade of album releases have described and tracked the questions, fears, anxiety’s, and hopes of my life. It is the most comforting of uncanny relevance… thanks John.

hey wooden whistle man
whittles wooden whistles for the kids
futures short on time to give
strikes up a conversation

hey wooden whistle man
eager to share his opinion
licks his finger spits in the wind
point me in the right direction

hey wooden whistle man
whittles wooden whistles in his garden
safe place to escape
falls in love all over again

hey wooden whistle man
brand new suit jacket and pants
whistles at the women in style
dressed for success and romance
i bought your slacks for a quarter at a thrift store down the street

put a patch on the knee called it my steez
tonight we make history
mic check one two take me back
whistle man songs from the past
mom smiles children laugh
we take notes for future scraps

la di da, la da di da
hanging on
nostalgia keeps you from
old age yesterday
walk away when the feeling’s gone

hey wooden whistle man
sees the son he abandoned
i’m willing to listen even if i’m not him
whistle why you work it out abstract summary
flash back scrap book photo shopping memories
lullabies till we loose our mind
got old one song at a time
world changed one song at a time
album died one song at a time
nothing’s beautiful anymore
sings out his favorite show tune
tonight something classical is brand new

~John Reuben, Wooden Whistle Man

• 
  Sex, Drugs and Self Control
  Artist: John Reuben

Categories: Maturity, C.S. Lewis, Music, Books
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You can make him do nothing at all for long periods. You can keep him up late at night, not roistering, but staring at a dead fire in a cold room. All the healthy and outgoing activities which we want him to avoid can be inhibited and nothing given in return, so that at last he may say, as one of my own patients said on his arrival down here, “I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked”.

The Christians describe the Enemy as one “without whom Nothing is strong”. And Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man’s best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labyrinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off.

You will say that these are very small sins; and doubtless, like all young tempters, you are anxious to be able to report spectacular wickedness. But do remember, the only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy. It does not matter how small the sins are provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing. Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

~Your affectionate uncle, SCREWTAPE

• 
  The Screwtape Letters
  Author: C. S. Lewis

I suppose this may be the essential warning to which I now bristle at the engagement of time with social networking and video games. My generation seems to be particularly susceptible to this drifting gaze into the flickering pixels of a digital fire.

It’s not so much the value judgment of the activity itself as it is the tendency for it to take root in our posture and slowly become our expectation for enjoyment, a passive dissipation into nothingness… a silent withdrawal into the placid gaze of The Brave New World.

A friend of mine recently passed on this video from OK GO. I think this is an endearing example of how to escape this temptation towards postmodern nihilistic narcissism.

Making a big silly Rude Goldberg Machine could be deemed a completely worthless activity by anyone looking to quantify the value quotient of the effort. But, watching this… thinking about all the fun effort that went into getting it to work, and then absorbing the emotional connection to the message of “This Too Shall Pass” is a beautiful moment.

This is why I love the arts, how can anyone justify this endeavor going in and how can anyone not concede its necessity after seeing it accomplished? A wonderful paradox of life engagement…

Categories: Apathy, Ambition, C.S. Lewis, Fun, Music, Art, Books
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When I was a little boy
Living in the last century
I thought about living in the future
Then it occurred to me
I turned around the future was now
The future was all around me
Nothing like I imagined
It was totally confounding

21st century life
I got swept away
I got 21,000 things that I got to do today
21st century life
Well what can I say?
The new world got me feeling so dirty
Think I need to get down and play

Well now I turned on the TV just in time to hear what the Pope said, Pope said
And just a few tiny words later
Somebody wants the man dead
What about famine and disease
Well they said it’s too bad (oops)
Because I’m never alone
It’s not just a phone
It’s a stereo

21st century life
I got swept away
I got 21,000 things that I got to do today
21st century life
What can I say?
The new world got me feeling so dirty
Think I need to get down and play

Now I’m not a little boy
I’m in the 21st century
Well you might think we’ve come a really long way, but there’s still no equality
I watched the news on my computer screen
Talking about buying my weed out of a vending machine
You tell me I’m free
But how can it be
When you’re always watching me on the CCTV

21st century life
I got swept away
I got 21,000 things that I got to do today
21st century life
What can I say?
The new world got me feeling so dirty
Think I need to get down and play

21, 21, 21
I’m talking about 21, 21

• 
  Sam Sparro
  Artist: Sam Sparro

Categories: Technology, Music
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The tyranny of the aimless youtube and Itune’s a la cart smorgasbord meets its happy demise when you take up the recommendation of a trusted friend or mentor.

I am learning to moderate my “content intake” (reading, listening, watching) by recommendation and the results continue to astound me. Books, films, and music that I never would have uncovered in several lifetimes of random sifting are delivered to me often times with a serious face looking directly into mine,

You have to read this…
You have to listen to this…
You have got to see this…

are now the words I long for when deciding my next investment of finite time.

The latest addition, profound timeliness, The Bosses trip to the dark side of town as recommended by the Redford Cowboy.

• 
  Darkness on the Edge of Town
  Artist: Bruce Springsteen

Lights out tonight, trouble in the heartland.
Got a head-on collision, smashin in my guts man.
Im caught in a crossfire that I don’t understand.
But there’s one thing I know for sure girl:
I don’t give a damn for the same old played out scenes
I don’t give a damn for just the in-betweens.
Honey I want the heart, I want the soul, I want control right now.

You better listen to me baby:
Talk about a dream; try to make it real.
You wake up in the night with a fear so real.
You spend your life waiting for a moment that just don’t come.
Well don’t waste your time waiting

Badlands you gotta live it every day
Let the broken hearts stand
As the price youve gotta pay
Well keep pushin till it’s understood
And these badlands start treating us good

Workin in the field till you get your back burned
Workin `neath the wheels till you get your facts learned.
Baby I got my facts learned real good right now.
You better get it straight darling:
Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings,
And a king aint satisfied till he rules everything.
I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got.
Now I believe in the love that you gave me.
I believe in the faith that could save me.
I believe in the hope and I pray that some day it
Will raise me above these

Badlands…

For the ones who had a notion, a notion deep inside
That it aint no sin to be glad you’re alive.
I wanna find one face that aint looking through me
I wanna find one place, I wanna spit in the face of these

Badlands…

~Bruce Springsteen, Badlands

Categories: Recommendation, Music
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Oh yeah, what we’re living in (let me tell ya)
It’s a wonder man can eat at all
When things are big that should be small
Who can tell what magic spells we’ll be doing for us
And I’m giving all my love to this world
Only to be told
I can’t see
I can’t breathe
No more will we be
And nothing’s going to change the way we live
Cos’ we can always take but never give
And now that things are changing for the worse,
See, its a crazy world we’re living in
And I just can’t see that half of us immersed in sin
Is all we have to give these -

Futures made of virtual insanity now
Always seem to, be govern’d by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

And I’m thinking what a mess we’re in
Hard to know where to begin
If I could slip the sickly ties that earthly man has made
And now every mother, can choose the colour
Of her child
That’s not nature’s way
Well that’s what they said yesterday
There’s nothing left to do but pray
I think it’s time I found a new religion
Waoh - it’s so insane
To synthesize another strain
There’s something in these
Futures that we have to be told.

Futures made of virtual insanity - now
Always seem to, be govern’d by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

Now there is no sound
If we all live underground
And now it’s virtual insanity
Forget your virtual reality
Oh, there’s nothing so bad.
I know yeah

Of this virtual insanity, we’re livin in.
Has got to change, yeah
Things, will never be the same.
And I can’t go on
While we’re livin’ in oh, oh virtual insanity
Oh, this world, has got to change
Cos I just, I just can’t keep going on, it was virtual.
Virtual insanity that we’re livin’ in, that we’re livin’ in
That virtual insanity is what it is

Futures made of virtual insanity - now
Always seem to, be govern’d by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity

Virtual Insanity is what we’re living in

• 
  Travelling Without Moving
  Artist: Jamiroquai

Categories: Technology, Music
No Comments »

Thanks to a friend of mine’s nimble ticket purchasing mouse clicks myself and several of my best friends were able to take in a show of the “Flight of the Choncords“, if you have never heard of them, just know they are the 4th best band in New Zealand. The humor is understated, self deprecating, and occasionally a bit vulgar… but in more moments than not it slays me.

I laughed, cried, and hit the seat of the poor guy in front of me for the duration of the two hour show. My friends were amused at my enjoyment, and for a moment I paused to consider if I should have laughed at everything that night. Most likely not, but in that moment I was consoled by a reminder of the immediate value of anything that allows us to whimsically forget ourselves and enjoy life.

Could God be more pleased by 5 minutes of our selfless enjoyment of the most trivial activity than 1000 hours of begrudged self conscious community service?

Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden. Hence we always try to work away from the natural condition of any pleasure to that in which it is least natural, least redolent of its Maker, and least pleasurable.

~The ScrewTape Letters, Chapter 9

• 
  The Screwtape Letters
  Author: C. S. Lewis

Categories: Humor, Music
1 Comment »

I think we’ve figured out this world is bigger than you and I. We’ve exhausted our wealth of knowledge and have no more answers for mankind. We’ve had every conversation in the world about what is right and what has all gone bad, but have I mentioned to you that this is all I am, this is all that I have. I’m not trying to judge you. That’s not my job. I am just a seeker too, in search of God.

Somewhere somehow this subject became taboo. I have no other way to communicate to you. This is all that I am. This is all that I have. I would like to share with you what makes me complete. I don’t claim to have found the Truth, but I know it has found me.

The only thing that isn’t meaningless to me is Jesus Christ and and way he set me free. This is all that I have. This is all that I am.

~Sara Groves, Conversations

• 
  Conversations
  Artist: Sara Groves

Categories: Repentance, Music
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