Wake Up…
July 14, 2006 12:08 pm| > | > | ||
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I have these weird dreams from time to time…
where I think I am waking up, but I can’t…This seems to be how fear expresses itself in my life right now; I am not so much running away as I am scared to take additional steps. Apprehension seems like a pretty fitting word for it. Overtime it begins to percolate a nervous tension and anxiety about life. You think you can ignore it, but if you don’t deal with it, it will manifest itself in your life and eventually become debilitating.
I think I have had moments were it starts to manifest itself physically. I have had these wild dreams were I am sort of in-between consciousness. I know that I am sleeping but when I try to wake myself up I can’t. I am paralyzed. I start to hear voices as if people are watching me and waiting for me to wake up. Every time I think I am about to wakeup I realize that I am still sleeping. I even go so far as to concentrate all my energy into rolling myself over in hopes that I will roll off the couch and wakeup when I land. It feels like my body is moving and they my muscles are reacting, but right when I am about to fall… I realize that I have not moved at all and I am still sleeping. I am really not sure how long this goes on, but eventually I come to and it takes me a minute or two to make sure I am awake. This phenomenon usually does not happen when I have been active and have a decent reason to be sleeping.
Not sure how well it relates, but I have taken these dream states as a not so subtle warning that I am living in way to much apprehension and I need to do something…
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